Wedding Guest List

OMG - I have no idea how people decide whom to cut from their invited guests list! I had no idea I knew so many people. I currently have a want-to-invite list of 189 (this includes dates for everybody invited - the odd number comes from grandparents who quite obviously are not going to bring dates). Of the 189, 111 are my guests and 78 are my fiance's guests. Of my 111, 30 is family, 61 is friends, and 20 is parents' friends. On my fiance's side, he has 34 family, 20 friends, 24 parents' friends.

My goal is to get to 160 invites, of whom I'm expecting 80% to attend (about 125 people - the size I want my wedding). I don't want to touch fiance's guest list because 1) I'm starting out with such a higher count than he is, and he's already taken our mutual friends to his side, and 2) I have no idea who or who might not come on his side, especially distant relatives and family friends.

So on my side, after I cut out everyone I've met in the past two years and also about 15 of my parents' friends, I'm still over the count. When I cut out everybody I haven't spoken to at least in the last six months, then I'm down to 160. But that's quite a few people not to invite. There are some people I am or have been pretty close to on my B list. And then there's a whole other category of people: sort of friends that I feel like I should invite so other people won't feel totally alienated at the wedding. That is - there's a few instances where I have one good friend I want to invite, but said friend doesn't know anybody else invited to the wedding. Do I have to invite some of that person's and my mutual friends, or does giving them leave to bring a date suffice? I guess I should cut those mutual acquaintances right away?

Not to mention: what's going to happen when I meet more people or get to know a whole new bunch of them better, at least? What's going to happen when fiance starts his new job in July and again next July and meets whole new crops of people?

I feel like I'm being asked to rank my friendships. Not fair! AHHHHHH!!!!

PS - If we don't allow people to bring guests, except for the already-married and dates whom we personally have met (i.e. long-term significant others), we can have our invite list down to 146. That seems like a really mean thing to do, though, especially considering that the guests come from all over and don't really know each other. It would be a pretty awkward and quiet wedding if we did that, I think.

Drinks

We're going to have a tropical/beach-themed wedding, we're thinking. We'll have beachy favors, having the wedding at a boat club a block from the beach... At the bar, on top of the normal premium liquor drinks (plus lots of different wines and beers), we're going to put a list of our favorite suggestions for mixed drinks. Make the bartenders earn their tips. :) So I'd like to to start accumulating different summery and tropical mixed drinks.

I'm all in favor for anything with lots of juice, fruit, and flavored rum (in the past year or two, I've personally gone through a bottle of Cruzan mango rum, and I'm currently chugging my way through a bottle of Parrot Bay passionfruit rum and a giant bottle of Bacardi berry rum simultaneously). Malibu Bay Breezes are good. Fruity anything is good. Cranberry vodkas. Midori sours. Daquiris. Pina Coladas (although alas - we can't have blended drinks at the wedding because the sound of the blender would be too loud).

Here's Jeremy's latest suggestion. It's called a Back Porch.

Hendricks Gin 1oz
Sloe Gin 1/2 oz
Lemonade 2 oz
7-up 2oz
2 pieces thin sliced cucumber

Serve in a high ball glass with or without ice

Jeremy says: "I recommend serving it without ice but with an extra shot of gin. The drink is Kool-Aid red and tastes GREAT." I have to say - it does sound pretty good.

Any suggestions for good summery mixed drinks that put you in a happy summer/tropical state of mind?

Reception Menu

Now that our contract is signed, I have two years to come up with all the details. Here's what the menu will probably look like:

Menu below copied from the website - bolded items are what would like to be there (pending Jeremy's approval, of course - not that it matters. We don't really get to eat at our own wedding anyway). Take a look. Can you believe the quantity of food there's going to be?? Also, the choice of dinner entree is tableside, and then afterwards, the waiters come around and ask if anybody wants seconds, so they can try a different entree. I hope people aren't too stuffed after dinner to dance. :)

5 Hour Open Bar
Premium Brand Liquors
Champagne Toast & Unlimited Champagne
Private Bridal Room, Colored Linens
Bottled Wine Served with Dinner

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BUTLER STYLE HORS D'OEUVRES
Served on Silver Platters with White Glove Service
All Included

Assorted Mini Quiche
Beef & Vegetable Kabobs
Filet Mignon Bruschetta
Brie & Pesto Crostini
Cocktail Shrimp
Assorted Sushi
Franks-n-Pastry Shell
Hawaiian Chicken Kabobs
Shrimp Shamoi
Potato Pancakes
Asparagus Wrapped in Prosciutto
Scallops & Bacon
Mussels Casino
Petite Maryland Crab Cakes
Tempura Vegetables
Stuffed Mushrooms
Spanikopita
Coconut Chicken

*

BUFFET STYLE
Served from Chafing Dishes
~ 100 Guests: Choice of Six Items ~ 150 Guests: Choice of Eight Items ~ 200 Guests: Choice of Ten Items ~

Beef Tips Chasseur Cavatelli with Broccoli Rabe & Mushrooms
Beef & Vegetable Teriyaki
Stuffed Shells Parmigiana
Chicken Savoy
Italian Sausage & Peppers
Chicken Marsala Tortellini in a Spicy Tomato Vodka Sauce
Chicken Piccata
Eggplant Rollantine
Mussels Fra Diavolo
Polish Kielbasa & Sauerkraut
Paella Valenciana
Seafood au Gratin
Seafood Creole
Zuppa de Clams
Fried Calamari Fra Diavolo
Cracked Lemon Fettuccine with Lobster Sauce

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INTERNATIONAL COLD BUFFET DISPLAY
Each station is beautifully and tastefully decorated by our trained
staff to compliment your selections.

International Cheese, Fresh Fruit & Vegetable Display
Ravioli & Broccoli Salad
Marinated Calamari & Shrimp Salad
Marinated Grilled Vegetables
Stuffed Sweet Cherry Peppers
Plum Tomato & Mozzarella Salad
Chilled Broccoli Rabe
Roasted Red Peppers with Genoa Salami & Provolone Salad
Balsalmic Fresh String Bean with Roasted Red Pepper Salad

*

ATTENDED STATIONS
Choice of Two

Shrimp Scampi Station
Sauteed with garlic butter, lemon & white wine.

Fajitas Station
Made to order, grilled chicken or beef, onions, peppers served with sour cream, salsa, guacamole & soft tortilla.

Oriental Wok Station
Fresh vegetables, fried rice; chicken, beef or shrimp.

Pasta Station
Tri-color bow ties served with garlic, tomato, pesto, portobello mushrooms & broccoli served in Alfredo cream sauce.

Portobello Mushrooms
With sundried tomato sauteed to order in a garlic pesto butter sauce.

Carving Station to Include One of the Following
Smoked ham, fresh whole boneless turkey or corned beef brisket.

*

ADDITIONAL ITEMS
Sushi Bar (150 person minimum)
New Zealand Baby Lamb Chops (butler style)
Raw Seafood Display: Shrimp, Cocktail Claws, Clams & Oysters

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MAIN COURSE RECEPTION

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APPETIZERS

Choice of One
Seasonal Fruit Salad Served in Fillo Pastry Cup
Penne Fileto Pomadoro or Penne with Vodka Sauce
Tortellini en Brodo or Wild Mushroom Bisque

*

SALADS
Choice of One
Classic Caesar Salad
California Mixed Field Greens with Raspberry Vinegarette

*

ENTREES
Choice of Three at the Table

Poultry
Marinated Grilled Chicken Breast
Served with either roasted red pepper sauce, portobello marsala sauce or tangy Dijon mustard sauce.
Chicken Francaise
Lightly battered & finished with a lemon caper sauce.

Seafood
Stuffed lemon sole with crabmeat & shrimp & a sherry lobster sauce.
Broiled Atlantic salmon filet with lemon dill butter topped with sauteed shrimp.

Beef
Roast Prime Rib au Jus
Chateaubriand Bordelaise
Sliced tenderloin of choice beef, finished with a rich mushroom & red wine sauce.

Surf & Turf
Brazilian lobster tail with drawn butter & chateaubriand bordelaise.

Dinner Selections are Complemented with:
Roasted Red Bliss or Dutchess Potatoes & a Medley of Fresh Seasonal Vegetables

*

DESSERT

Custom Wedding Cake
Served with your Choice of Assorted Pastries, Italian Cookies,
Tartuffo or Vanilla Ice Cream

Venetian Cake Display Table
Chocolate Cake with Mousse Filling, Carrot Cake, Strawberry Short Cake, Raspberry Cake, Hazelnut Cake, Lemon Cake, Chocolate Cheesecake & Plain Cheesecake, Italian Cookies & Mini French & Italian Pastries

Deluxe Venetian Table
Cakes from Venetian Cake Display, Hazelnut & Chocolate Mousse, Fresh Fruit Chocolate Dipping Station, Fantasy Fruit Cocktail, Tiramisu & Banana Foster Station

Coffee, Tea, Brewed Decaf Served
Espresso Cart with After Dinner Cordials

Catering Hall - Check

We booked a catering hall today! It's the one on the water I mentioned in the last post - the one that was surprisingly charming. We're having both the ceremony and reception there. I hope we can find a rabbi - it's between Passover and Shavuos that year. There's an outdoor ceremony on the docks into a western sunset (canopy/chuppah included in the cost of the hall!), and then a beautiful cocktail hour with more food than I can wrap my head around, and a very generous dinner. Plus, we're getting lamb chops with the cocktail hour, and an extra Viennese dessert table for after dinner, to go with the cordials and espresso cart. Flowers and linens and ice sculpture included. This place is really quite nice. Charming is exactly the right word to describe it. Today: contract signed, deposit given. It's getting real!!! :)

Stuff has mostly been on hold, wedding-wise, as I study for medical boards that I'm taking at the end of the month (of June). I can't believe that real life is so quickly approaching. Medical boards leads to a real adult job (i.e. not a part-time or summer student job). And fiance just graduated med school, and he's starting his first real job next month! Deposits at catering halls lead to marriage and children and buying a house and paying mortgages and taxes and husband and retirement plans! I just had my 25th birthday. I can't believe I'm so far removed from my teenage years.

Good thing I have so many exciting things to look forward to! Next thing to do (after passing my boards): photographer, florist, favors, stationery, rabbi, wedding attendants, dress... :)

New Frontrunner!

Yesterday we went down to the shore to visit two waterfront places. One was the one I posted about last time with beautiful online pictures ("Place A"), and the other was a last-minute find where we made an appointment just so we wouldn't "waste" the trip down to the shore (let's call this "Place B").

* * * * * * * *

Place A was an incredible disappointment. Not only do they have three weddings going on at once, with shared bathrooms and crisscrossing paths that would make it very confusing, it was also situated on a very narrow channel, with a very prominent and ugly bridge in the background. And a parking lot directly outside the main windows. Cars galore! The one gazebo was at the very end of a narrow garden path - pretty, but unaccessible from the inside, and with three weddings going on, who gets to take pictures in it with the good light? Not to mention, the sun sets the wrong way, over the bridge, so there go the romantic sunset shots. When we walked into the downstairs ballroom, it smelled strongly of cigarette smoke, to which I am very sensitive. I stopped dead in my tracks. Fiance asked about the smell, and the lady giving us the tour said: "This is a non-smoking facility." Heh- yeah. I was utterly disappointed. I'm not going to put up pictures of the place - I didn't even bother taking them.

* * * * * * * *

Place B, on the other hand, was a serendipitous find! It's private, with all the rooms facing a western sunset, a wide channel, and a beautiful dock with all these gorgeous boats docked in the background.


The cocktail hour room is just as beautiful (actually, even more so) than the party room. Centerpiece flowers on pedestals are included, but we are free to bring our own. The bars are premium, and very prominent (which fiance likes a lot).

The ceremony would take place outside in a private garden surrounded by hedges and flower rows. Fiance, I, and the rabbi would be under a (supplied) canopy on the dock, with the marina behind us.

There's a lot of private open air for the reception. Even if it were to rain, there is a narrow strip of overhang, so we could still get outdoor pictures. The cocktail hour room is downstairs, right next to the private garden where the reception would occur, so we can go in and out to take pictures and mingle throughout the cocktail hour.

They have some beautiful areas inside that look great for a faux-studio portrait. They have corners that look like formal parlors and staircases and mirrors that make for great shots.

The food is... overwhelming. Soooo much food. And we read some good reviews online about the quality of the food and place both. As we met with the manager and maitre'd, they were setting up for another wedding at night. It was great, because they took the alloted time to talk to us, and then promptly kicked us out as soon as they needed space for the party - great, because they're courteous to talk to us. Even better, because they will kick us out in favor of the people having the party - a very good thing for when we'd have the party there. On our way out, the father of the bride stopped us and said: "I just want you to know, these people are incredible to work with." And the price is perfect for us!

So... I think we have a new winner. :) :) :) Fiance is going back to check it out again with his parents this week, and then there will be a bridal show there in two weeks. Unfortunately, since it's on a Tuesday, I can't make it, but fiance, fiance's parents, and my mother will be able to go back, taste the food, and see it all dressed up. (My father has to teach late that night - schade!) So.... winner!! We still like the country club, except I like the view and the beach/state park photo option along with the marina and sunset view here much better. After all, in twenty years, all that will be left is the pictures, right?

And and and... they have a beach-themed cake! Chocolate seashells and brown sugar scattered around it to make it look like seashells on a beach, on top of the cake. Que adorable!!!

The only caveat is that the appearance of the sky is so heavily dependent on weather. It can be splendid and spectacular and surreal and sublime... or it can be just gray and blah. It all depends. Good thing the inside is just as beautiful for the wedding.

____oOOo__@_@__oOOo____
__*__

On another note - if we're having a beach-themed wedding, we might have to ease up on the Asian theme a bit. I still want tea favors, though, and a friend had a great idea - instead of the tacky mugs I really want, but are in truth a bit too tacky for a mostly-formal wedding, she suggested Asian teacups, like the kind you get a restaurant. Awesome! I found some that might work, and they're quite reasonably priced! I'm so excited!!!!

Price of teacups: $10.67/dozen = $0.89 each
Number of teacups needed: 132 (approximately 125 guests, we're assuming now, so we'd get 11 dozen)
Total price for teacups: $117.37. Not bad!!!

Another wedding venue?

This weekend, we're going to try to see another wedding venue - this one by the ocean, and actually on the water, giving me the gorgeous water photos I want. It's actually got gorgeous views of a marina. Pros: water, gorgeous views for photography, lots of food, flowers included on tables, only one wedding at once. Cons: location, no outdoor location for ceremony.

And we already have that country club we really like, but doesn't have the greatest view (it's still pretty - full wall of windows in all rooms looking out on a private country club with a beautifully maintained golf course. Heavy on greens, light on flowers. Makes sense, for a golf course. So, we'll visit this other place this weekend and see how we feel. We want to book soon, even though we're ridiculously early, because neither fiance nor I will have time next year to devote to wedding-planning. And then 2009 will be here before we know it (I hope)!

Here are some pictures from the website. Note the pretty backdrop with water and boats, the great photo ops, and the great flowers (provided by the facility) on the dinner tables. Also notice the indoor ceremony... not sure how I feel about that yet. I guess it depends on how I feel about the place in general. More to come after we see the place.

Favors Part Deux - DIY!!

Brain storm! Instead of buying all the pre-made tea tins:

• Tins: $0.51 each
• Teabags: 250 for $66.00 = $0.26 each * 4 bags/tin = $1.05 per favor
• Labels: $30 for 100 sheets of 12 labels each, to print on (that would be... 1200 labels); assuming 150 favors to be made, then $0.20
• Ribbon: $15 ought to cover lots of ribbon, for 150 favors, so $0.10/favor
  

That brings the tea part up to $1.86/tea favor.

Add that to $1.94 per mug (see last post) and now we don't need the infuser, because the tea will come in round bags (I ADORE Republic of Tea), that would be about $3.80/favor, mug and tea together. Much better than before!

I think I'd go with white honeysuckle tea and white jasmine tea. Asian flowers and delicate white tea. Yummmmy!!

(Actually, when the cost of shipping and taxes and extra costs like imprinting and computer ink are factored in, each favor will probably be closer to $4.50/$5. Still, better than the $7-9 before this DIY idea! When you take $4 and multiply it by 150 people, and then do that repeatedly for every facet of the wedding, the pennies start to add up...)