OMG - I have no idea how people decide whom to cut from their invited guests list! I had no idea I knew so many people. I currently have a want-to-invite list of 189 (this includes dates for everybody invited - the odd number comes from grandparents who quite obviously are not going to bring dates). Of the 189, 111 are my guests and 78 are my fiance's guests. Of my 111, 30 is family, 61 is friends, and 20 is parents' friends. On my fiance's side, he has 34 family, 20 friends, 24 parents' friends.
My goal is to get to 160 invites, of whom I'm expecting 80% to attend (about 125 people - the size I want my wedding). I don't want to touch fiance's guest list because 1) I'm starting out with such a higher count than he is, and he's already taken our mutual friends to his side, and 2) I have no idea who or who might not come on his side, especially distant relatives and family friends.
So on my side, after I cut out everyone I've met in the past two years and also about 15 of my parents' friends, I'm still over the count. When I cut out everybody I haven't spoken to at least in the last six months, then I'm down to 160. But that's quite a few people not to invite. There are some people I am or have been pretty close to on my B list. And then there's a whole other category of people: sort of friends that I feel like I should invite so other people won't feel totally alienated at the wedding. That is - there's a few instances where I have one good friend I want to invite, but said friend doesn't know anybody else invited to the wedding. Do I have to invite some of that person's and my mutual friends, or does giving them leave to bring a date suffice? I guess I should cut those mutual acquaintances right away?
Not to mention: what's going to happen when I meet more people or get to know a whole new bunch of them better, at least? What's going to happen when fiance starts his new job in July and again next July and meets whole new crops of people?
I feel like I'm being asked to rank my friendships. Not fair! AHHHHHH!!!!
PS - If we don't allow people to bring guests, except for the already-married and dates whom we personally have met (i.e. long-term significant others), we can have our invite list down to 146. That seems like a really mean thing to do, though, especially considering that the guests come from all over and don't really know each other. It would be a pretty awkward and quiet wedding if we did that, I think.
My goal is to get to 160 invites, of whom I'm expecting 80% to attend (about 125 people - the size I want my wedding). I don't want to touch fiance's guest list because 1) I'm starting out with such a higher count than he is, and he's already taken our mutual friends to his side, and 2) I have no idea who or who might not come on his side, especially distant relatives and family friends.
So on my side, after I cut out everyone I've met in the past two years and also about 15 of my parents' friends, I'm still over the count. When I cut out everybody I haven't spoken to at least in the last six months, then I'm down to 160. But that's quite a few people not to invite. There are some people I am or have been pretty close to on my B list. And then there's a whole other category of people: sort of friends that I feel like I should invite so other people won't feel totally alienated at the wedding. That is - there's a few instances where I have one good friend I want to invite, but said friend doesn't know anybody else invited to the wedding. Do I have to invite some of that person's and my mutual friends, or does giving them leave to bring a date suffice? I guess I should cut those mutual acquaintances right away?
Not to mention: what's going to happen when I meet more people or get to know a whole new bunch of them better, at least? What's going to happen when fiance starts his new job in July and again next July and meets whole new crops of people?
I feel like I'm being asked to rank my friendships. Not fair! AHHHHHH!!!!
PS - If we don't allow people to bring guests, except for the already-married and dates whom we personally have met (i.e. long-term significant others), we can have our invite list down to 146. That seems like a really mean thing to do, though, especially considering that the guests come from all over and don't really know each other. It would be a pretty awkward and quiet wedding if we did that, I think.
